Funny !!

Frankly, I haven't heard a good joke in a while.

Ooooh!

That's pretty good there.

I mentioned your joke here in the office -- told them I was online at a guitar site. One of my staff told me this:

Question : "How do you get a guitarist to play softer?"
Answer: "Put sheet music in front of them"

Yeah, the pharmacist joke was better ................

Both excellent!

A brown bear and a white rabbit are taking a shit side by side in the woods.

The white rabbit looks up at the brown bear and says;

"hey Bear do you ever have a problem with shit sticking to your fur?"

The bear reaches down, picks up the rabbit, wipes his ass with him and says;

"Nope"

A man comes home to find his wife dressed in a naughty outfit.
She looks at his with those bedroom eyes and says, "Take me to the bedroom, tie me up, and you can do whatever you want."
The man says, "Hell yeah!"
He takes her up to the bedroom, ties her up, and then goes to play golf.

One day a boss notices that one of his Asian employess who does not speak English very well isn't working like he usually does.
"What's wrong?" says the boss.
"I have splitting headache," says the Asian employ. "I don't know what to do."
"I'll tell you what I do when I have a headache," say the boss.
"Wha?" says the Asian employee.
"I go home and bang my wife. It works everytime and it makes me feel like I am a new man. Go ahead and take a long lunch." said the boss.
The Asian man takes a long lunch and comes back completely refreshed and ready to work.
The boss notices and says, "What did I tell you...works every time."
"You were right!" said the Asian employee. "By the way, your wife said to bring home some milk."

Hats-off to the MirageMan for starting this insanity ............

(why can't I give him a WebCred?)

From the NY Times:

I think I might vote for Barack Obama.

I live in New York City and have been giving black guys change for the past 10 years. I want to see what it feels like for a black guy to give me change.

Three guys are in a bar.. One turns to the other and says "so, you be from Ireland be ya, As I live an breath.. Bar keep bring us a round"..
couple of minutes later the other of the two says "What county be ya from exactly". "Cork" the second replies.. "As I live and breath my very own county.. Bar Keep bring us a round"
couple of minutes later.. Men are talking and one says "Where exactly in Cork be ya from?" "Cathrine's parish" the second replies.. "MY VERY own Parish.. Bar keep give us a bottle"...

The third man at the end of the bar calls over the Bartender and says "I've been listening to theses guys for the last hour.. What is with them"..

Bartender replies.. "Pay them no mind lad.. It's just the o'leary twins drinking again".

Xark .. that is my favorite joke EVER !! (Why can't I give WebCreds today ? Mozilla maybe ?)

Ah -- there it goes ....

My favorite joke, told to me by a really HOT nun I used to take water-skiing. In fact, once out of sight of the convent it was, "Stop at this liquor store so I can get a bottle of scotch!" Sister Ed was a pretty special lady and a major knockout!



A nun walks into a liquor store and asks the clerk for a bottle of scotch. The clerk looks at her and says, "Sister... Shame on you! You're supposed to be an example!"

The sister replies, "I fully understand that sir, but you are mistaken. I need the scotch for mother superior's constipation."

"Well... That's different." So the clerk sells her a bottle of scotch.

Three hours later the clerk closes the store and turns to walk down the street only to see the sister lying in the gutter, blind stinking drunk with the empty bottle next to her.

"SISTER!" exclaims the liquor store clerk, "You told me that scotch was for mother superior's constipation!"

The sister looks up at him with bleary eyes and says, "It is for her constipation. Because when she sees me she's going to shit!"

A nun is taking a bath in the convent bathroom. She hears a knock at the door.
The sister says, "Who is it?"
"It's the blind man," says the voice on the other side of the door.
The nun thinks about it and decides it will be okay.
"Come in," she says.
The blind man walks in, looks at the nun and says, "Nice tits, now where do you want me to hang these blinds?"

as a recovering catholic ... these jokes are really getting to me !!