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Original message:451 days 11 hours 15 minutes ago

Member: Xarkzila

2675
WebCred

You should recognize the title of this post as the most common last words of a redneck. (At least that's what my brother and I determined during a long stay in North Carolina. Where the sign when you enter the state should read, "Welcome to North Carolina. NO TRESPASSING!")

In any case, since they're apparently too sophisticated for regular Olympics, or even Special Olympics, in the south, they have developed the Redneck Games, where people of all IQ's, (especially those under 80,) are welcome to compete!

East Dublin, Ga. (in July), and Athens, Texas (in August), sponsored their own versions of Redneck Games, with events such as mud-pit belly-flopping, seed-spitting and making armpit music (Georgia), as well as (in Texas) "red-neck horseshoes" (played with toilet seats), a Spam-and-jalapeno-eating contest, a mattress chuck, men bobbing for raw animal parts in tomato paste, and the ever-popular coed butt crack contest. Wrote the San Antonio Express-News: "There was something strangely arresting about watching 10 serious-faced guys grind away at pink bricks of Spam while Steppenwolf's 'Born to Be Wild' boomed from the loudspeakers." [WMAZ-TV (Mobile, Ala.), 7-7-07] [San Antonio Express-News, 8-6-07]

My gear recommendations:

"The music industry is a cruel and shallow money trench. A long plastic hallway where theives and pimps run free and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side..."
http://www.cleargravy.com

Reply:451 days 11 hours 12 minutes ago
Member: humstrat1

97
WebCred

^hahaha

Reply:447 days 15 hours 31 minutes ago
Member: johnny cox

835
WebCred

Hey Xark. Believe it or not I was invited to one of these events at a party in the next town. I refused to attend and then some of the guys came over and told me to come and watch and I did. Once I got there they pumped me full of draft beer and moonshine and I decided to join the games. The most embarrassing thing of all is that I won first place. Now they are all pissed off at me and wont invite me back. Nice trophy though.

My gear recommendations:

Plug in, turn up and spank the plank

Reply:447 days 15 hours 12 minutes ago
Member: Captain Fantastic

1220
WebCred

That's awesome!

My music recommendations:

My gear recommendations:

I enjoy skinny skiing, heckling figure skaters, flamenco guitar, the blue stuff you put your combs in, good drummers, focaccia bread and coffee out of a french press

Reply:447 days 14 hours 30 minutes ago
Member: Xarkzila

2675
WebCred

LOL... So what did you win for? Please don't tell me it was the butt crack contest. I hate having nightmares!

My gear recommendations:

"The music industry is a cruel and shallow money trench. A long plastic hallway where theives and pimps run free and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side..."
http://www.cleargravy.com

Reply:447 days 13 hours 44 minutes ago
Member: johnny cox

+ 1

835
WebCred

No there was no such event. The one I did best at was the bike stop. I rode a bicycle down a hill that was attached to a long chain. When the bike came to an abrupt stop, I was judged on the distance I was sent tumbling and sliding through the mud. I was actually knocked unconscious but when I came to some fat chick with more chins than the Chinese phone book was handing me a trophy.

My gear recommendations:

Plug in, turn up and spank the plank

Reply:447 days 12 hours 35 minutes ago
Member: Xarkzila

2675
WebCred

Perfect example of "Hold my beer... Check this out!" (Sure the trophy was for the event and not something that happened with the fat chick while you were unconscious?) You better have set a record!

I've been in a hospital in NC because of one of those. Those doctors don't find very much amusing. Stretched my MCL as far as it could have gone without tearing it. (We actually hadn't been drinking when it happened, but they refused to believe it.) Can't blamed them though, considering what they probably see on a day to day basis.

My gear recommendations:

"The music industry is a cruel and shallow money trench. A long plastic hallway where theives and pimps run free and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side..."
http://www.cleargravy.com

Reply:444 days 2 hours 37 minutes ago
Member: corky corkmeister

+ 1

15
WebCred

Funny thing about moving up North after living most of my life in the South...i still see rednecks...they just dont know they're rednecks.

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