Forums > Offbeat > practical applications for the guitar
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Forums > Offbeat > practical applications for the guitar
Original message:86 days 7 hours 28 minutes ago
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Member: charles
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i just got my heart broke by a girl. so does anyone have any tips on using a guitar to seduce women?
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Reply:86 days 6 hours 11 minutes ago
Member: Desmond
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325
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john belushi had a nice trick with a guitar in animal house .........
Reply:81 days 16 hours 5 minutes ago
Member: dcunning30
    0  

2612
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Awesome!
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Reply:86 days 2 hours 50 minutes ago
Member: Simon Turner
    + 2  
37
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Still Got The Blues - Mr Gary Moore...works everytime
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Reply:86 days 1 hours 24 minutes ago
Member: NakedSunday
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You've got to hump it while you're playing onstage. Not in a band? then you've got to learn some
terribly romantic sounding classical pieces... humping the guitar while playing these pieces is also
an acceptable maneuver. No matter what you're playing, just remember: if you hump it, they will come.

.
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Reply:85 days 21 hours 58 minutes ago
Member: Hippieway
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Hit her over the head with it and then drag her off to your cave by her hair.
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Reply:85 days 21 hours 27 minutes ago
Member: Xarkzila
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2495
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I have a "Bed The Babe" set. Acoustic here is the way to go. You also need to play well enough to never look at your fretting hand or picking hand. And it's not just guitar here, you need to sing too. This means practice, practice, practice.

Emerson, Lake and Palmer - Songs like: From The Beginning, Ces't La Vie, Still You Turn Me On... These guys knew what they were doing.

Not that I'm out doing this all the time. But from 1998 to 2003, this was a sure thing. (I got married to the last one in 2005.)

Look in their eyes while you play and sing and DON'T look away for ANY reason. (OK... If the house bursts into flames you can look away, but anything less is a sure failure.) This takes quite a bit of practice, but no woman I know can resist a personal concert, (if you're any good to start with.)

My brother and I, many years ago, would play a version of "Name That Tune." It was a little different in that we'd judge how many songs it would take. "I can do her in three songs." "Well, I can do her in two songs!"

Truth of the matter here is that if you've got them in this position. (Alone and with your guitar. And to any ladies... You've chosen to be here. No one is forcing anything. This is seduction and you know it! You'd leave in a heartbeat if you weren't agreeable.) Then you're probably going to get there in one song. But don't be crude. Play all the songs and set her on fire. You'll BOTH appreciate it!
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"The music industry is a cruel and shallow money trench. A long plastic hallway where theives and pimps run free and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side..."
http://www.cleargravy.com
Reply:85 days 21 hours 17 minutes ago
Member: jobabrinks
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673
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Err. Playing the guitar in itself will probably not be enough for seduction. It will help, but some good looking dude who can strum Mcihael Row Your Boat Ashore and sing mediocre is gonna get a lot more nookie than some overweight balding guy who can play Segovia etudes like theyre nothing. However, playing in a cool band will help. I think girls are primarily attracted to the sex appeal factor of the instrument, rather than the skill involved with playing it. Of course, once your'e dating her, it's always nice to be able to play her some stuff.

Advice: Learn to sing like the guys from American Idol instead. I hang out at Karaoke bars and it's a MUCH more effective tool for picking up chicks.
Reply:85 days 21 hours 13 minutes ago
Member: pickabass
    + 3  

418
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Sexy tuba
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Capos are for weenies
Reply:85 days 20 hours 4 minutes ago
Member: Desmond
    + 1  
325
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That is a great looking tuba.
Reply:85 days 18 hours 29 minutes ago
Member: Xarkzila
    + 1  

2495
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That's not a tuba. That's a Sousaphone. A tuba looks like this.
My gear recommendations:
  
"The music industry is a cruel and shallow money trench. A long plastic hallway where theives and pimps run free and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side..."
http://www.cleargravy.com
Reply:85 days 17 hours 51 minutes ago
Member: pickabass
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418
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but technically, a sousaphone is just a highly modified version of a tuba
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Capos are for weenies
Reply:85 days 17 hours 34 minutes ago
Member: Hippieway
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After all these years I didn't know that is called a Sousaphone, well I have learned something today. By the way what is that horn she is holding called
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Reply:85 days 17 hours 26 minutes ago
Member: Xarkzila
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Sure it's a modified tuba. Developed by John Phillip Sousa so the tuba could be marched with. Plays the same and almost sounds the same but it's still not a tuba. I used to play with the greatest jazz tuba player of all time, (not just my opinion.) He'd be offended if you called a sousaphone a tuba. He had many technical reasons it was not a tuba, but I honestly don't remember most of them.

And reverse your statement that teechnically it's a tuba. We just call it a tuba. Technically, it's NOT a tuba.

Semantics. Not dissing you here, just pointing out that we all tend to simplify and in that respect sometimes lose the value behind what things really are.
My gear recommendations:
  
"The music industry is a cruel and shallow money trench. A long plastic hallway where theives and pimps run free and good men die like dogs. There's also a negative side..."
http://www.cleargravy.com
Reply:85 days 17 hours 20 minutes ago
Member: RuiOlasBrandon 's
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459
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And remember, that guy who invented the Sousaphone is a Portuguese-descendant man!
Sousa is a very common name, here in Portugal.
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Hey, I'm stupid!
Reply:81 days 16 hours 1 minutes ago
Member: dcunning30
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2612
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Hey folks, review the picture again. I'm CERTAIN Desmond really wasn't referring to that brass instrument.
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Reply:85 days 19 hours 30 minutes ago
Member: RuiOlasBrandon 's
    + 1  
459
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Learn Stair way to heaven and sing it.
If you're in high school take your acoustic with you, then star playing with some friends around. Wait for a cute girl to arrive. Then, wait until people leave and talk to her.. Ask what kind of music she likes. Ask her phone number.
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