Forums > Songwriting > Sway & Swagger
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Original message:471 days 23 hours 50 minutes ago
+ 1  
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WebCred
Hey all, I've got a new song I'm really looking for some advice on. It's called "Sway & Swagger". I feel the Chorus is fine, but I'm having trouble with the verse's. Any comments or suggestions are appreciated.

-Jayelayche

http://www.soundclick.com/util/getplayer.m3u?id=5809498&q=hi
Reply:444 days 12 hours 3 minutes ago
Member: Def
    0  
20
WebCred
Sound-wise, the verses and chorus are good. I'd play around with some of the lyrics though- some lines are a bit cliche' (e.g., "take my breath away"). Overall, a very catchy, solid tune.
My gear recommendations:
  
Reply:444 days 12 hours 2 minutes ago
Member: Def
    0  
20
WebCred
Sound-wise, the verses and chorus are good. I'd play around with some of the lyrics though- some lines are a bit cliche' (e.g., "take my breath away"). Overall, a very catchy, solid tune.
My gear recommendations:
  
Reply:444 days 12 hours 2 minutes ago
Member: Def
    0  
20
WebCred
Sound-wise, the verses and chorus are good. I'd play around with some of the lyrics though- some lines are a bit cliche' (e.g., "take my breath away"). Overall, a very catchy, solid tune.
My gear recommendations:
  
Reply:443 days 21 hours 28 minutes ago
Member: Def
    0  
20
WebCred
hmm. dunno what happened there with the three responses.
My gear recommendations:
  
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